


Important Qualities in a friend

by pixiealtaira



Series: 30 Days of Lists challenge [23]
Category: Glee
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23540773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiealtaira/pseuds/pixiealtaira
Summary: Prompt 23.	Important Qualities in a friendSometimes fate takes a step in...
Series: 30 Days of Lists challenge [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679446
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Important Qualities in a friend

Kurt didn’t actually ever stop and write out what he thought were the most important qualities in a friend until much later in his life than he ought to have, really. Especially considering he did the whole ‘journal by listing things about yourself’ thing at the start of high school…when one of the online helps he saw said write things down and journal and he himself thought he’d rather not be depressed for life and writing what was upsetting him seemed counterproductive.

He didn’t even think about it at all, except for constantly finding himself disappointed in his friends, until Elliot made a comment about making sure his friends were meeting the qualities he consider important and not just him meeting their whims or needs…that friendships were a two way relationship, just like romance and sex. Of course Kurt hadn’t focused on the friendship part because he was rather mind blown by the romance and sex reminder at the time (and realizing he wasn’t getting that either, and that Elliot assumed he was).

It wasn’t until after Blaine and he broke-up after the engagement and Rachel was off in LA and Mercedes was off touring with Santana and Brittany and NO ONE would answer his calls at all that Kurt got drunk and wrote out his list.

He was so drunk he didn’t remember writing it. Instead he went to the stupid therapist that he found in papers Rachel had left when she departed who told him everything was all his fault…he was supposed to give everything he had to a relationship if he wasn’t the alpha male in it. If he wasn’t the alpha male he needed to be the wife and the wife’s job was to cater to her husband…or his husband if he was the effeminate one, which he always had to be with a voice like his. Of course she also told him that he should never ever top and even if he’d rather top he needed to train himself to be the ultimate submissive bottom so men would like him, because that would be the only reason men would like him. Then he went speed dating, trying out his new ‘I’ll be whatever you want’ tone…which he never really got to show because speed dating was stupid and there wasn’t time for anything. And the idiot said he wasn’t over his ex and he wasn’t really over Blaine…it hadn’t been but a few months. He still wasn’t sleeping and eating properly. And then NO ONE showed up when they were supposed to and he was alone and knew it. So when Rachel showed her face again and demanded his attention again and her face was in Lima and Blaine was there too…Kurt decided to run home.

He was pulling out his suitcases to pack when he found the list.

**A good friend has time for you…as much time for you as you have for them.**

**A good friend picks up the phone when you call and talks about what you want to talk about…not just themselves. Sometimes a good friend just listens just like sometimes you just listen, but a good friend won’t make you always just listen.**

**A good friend calls before canceling plans.**

**A good friend respects your time and effort and person and things.**

**A good friend does what you want to do, watches what you want to watch, listens to what you want to listen to, about half the time when you are together.**

**A good friend makes you laugh and lets you laugh, but a good friend also lets you cry and provides comfort and support.**

**Oh and they let you cry when YOU need to, not when it is convenient for them or on their timetable.**

**A good friend asks and does not constantly demand.**

There were more listed, but Kurt was shaking so hard he had to set down the paper and seat himself before he fell. When Rachel had called, breaking her silent treatment of the world…or returning from her retreat from the world, whichever way you’d like to put it, and Kurt definitely put it in the silent treatment category…she told him he had to go home to Lima, she needed him.

Sure, she briefly told him she’d love to hear about his side to his break-up with Blaine, but she also insisted he do so in person while he helped her run glee club. Then laid out how he would help her and everything she hoped to do with it and she needed him to work the music and such, because she didn’t take those courses in NYADA, but he had to make sure she had songs to sing to showcase what could be done.

She also lectured him about letting Blaine go and how he had been petty and Kurt knew she’d been talking to Blaine and it had fed into the echo chamber in his head of “Blaine is always right, you were wrong and always were wrong, and you needed to have done whatever it was Blaine wanted’ and just bounced around in there. On the other hand he was NOT ALLOWED to say anything about Rachel’s show bombing or talk about anything she could have done different, which of course just made him itch to say ‘I told you so’.

And really, as much as Rachel ‘needed her best friend…her best gay’ to ‘get her through the tragedy that is her life in ruins’ and ‘help mourn the destruction of her blazing star’ and ‘gather the ashes of her entire future so he can rebuild her’, her offer to help him was to ‘listen to see if he could actually explain how he could let Blaine go and break the poor dear’s heart’.

Kurt curled up on his bed. Had he ever had a friend like he listed? Rachel didn’t fit the description, nor did Santana or Brittany. He wasn’t even sure Mercedes and Tina did way back when. Blaine never did, either.

Adam could have met his requirements for a friend…had they had the chance to get to know each other better and develop a relationship. Kurt was certain he would have, given a chance. Adam had let him laugh and cry…made him laugh, even…and encouraged him to have fun and be silly, without worrying what other people might think. And once when they were going to meet for coffee between classes… just grab it and go, not even sit down and enjoy coffee…Adam called because he got held up in his class and was running slow, giving Kurt the option of skipping the meet-up if he was worried about being late. And they watched shows and movies they both liked, taking turns picking things out. Now looking back, Kurt wanted to cry over it. He’d kept secrets…big ones like his dad’s cancer and exactly what happened to cause the first break-up…which affected his behavior and never gave them the chance to get to the point of sharing that deeply with each other. Heck, he gave Adam less than two months to share deeply before letting Blaine and Rachel and his dad and others convince him that Blaine was the one for him, since they knew each other so deeply.

Elliot fit his friend description. Kurt was the bad friend in that relationship at the end. He kept breaking plans because Kurt having plans with Elliot made Blaine upset. Kurt always called when he did so, though. He’d been glad when Elliot got to opportunity to go to the yoga retreat to learn how to be an instructor…and not just for the break it would give Elliot in terms of supplemental income. It made it so talking to Elliot was easier to hide and made it so Kurt didn’t have to actually break up the band, like Blaine had been pushing for him to do. Dani had been a good friend, as well. Even Chase had fit more of Kurt’s list of friendship needs than everyone Kurt had been calling friends and thus listening to.

Kurt called his dad and said he was staying in New York and called the rental place and canceled the rental car. He called Rachel to tell her he wasn’t going to make it, at least not right away. She didn’t answer, so he left a message.

Then he called Elliot, who wasn’t answering his phone but always responded to his voice messages when he had a chance.

Kurt was sure his voice message sounded pathetic.

“Elliot, when do you get home? I miss you.”

He must have sounded even more pathetic than he’d thought, because Dani knocked on his door two hours later with Ice Cream and cheesecake.

“So….” Dani started their conversation. “What is new?”

And that was that. Kurt bawled and spilled all the details of his miserable life since Dani had been on tour with her roller derby team and Elliot had gone off to the retreat and Dani had found him a new therapist within ten minutes of him speaking of his current one.

He wasn’t nearly as prone to tears when Elliot called a few hours later, during his ‘contact with the world’ time, and was able to just smile during Elliot’s lecture about Kurt not calling them earlier. Elliot was going to be home in a week and Dani was around for the rest of the fall and throughout the winter, only touring again if her team did well enough during their local season. Elliot and Dani convinced Kurt to stay in New York with them and start up the band again.

“What were you going to do about school?” Dani asked after Elliot had ended his call.

“Well, it is mid-September. I’ve already put six weeks into a play at the retirement home and I need to find another six week or so project. Rachel suggested I use the glee club. Other than work-study, I have two online classes…both writing…and need to do so many hours of dance and vocal training a week, from other sources than the school. I’ve been doing an adult tap and jazz at the local gym and I’m taking vocal training from a man who worked at Julliard when he was younger. I want to get a bit of classical type training. However, I could have done the online courses wherever I was, as well as paid for dance and vocal training.”

“So…what does your work-study have to be in?” Dani asked.

Kurt shrugged. “Something in the field of entertainment. The course description was incredibly vague. Adam once said one of the Apples did part of his by working as an Usher for one of the Broadway theaters.”

Dani smiled. “I have some ideas.”

Kurt woke with a start later, looking around and finding Dani snoring on the floor next to him. Papers of all sorts surrounded them and the empty carton of Ice Cream was tipped to the side, making a mess. Luckily it was near his foot and not near any of the papers. Kurt tidied up the piles…moving bits of lyrics and music into one and costume ideas into another and other bits of notes into a third. He picked up the ice cream carton and tossed it into the trash bin and then wet a cloth to wipe off the floor enough so he could relax. He tore into the box he’d packed blankets and such into, grabbing a pillow and blanket to cover Dani with. He grabbed his own from where he’d packed them away and moved back to where they fell asleep. He lifted Dani’s head enough to place a pillow under it and covered her up before snuggling up beside her on the floor.

Maybe this time he could get the whole friend thing right and he hadn’t missed all his chances at it after all.


End file.
